Just a Few Jokes from Bash.org

I found these two jokes from a runescape chat room (the bash links were posted there)

Enjoy

#1
so i had a checkup at the doctor a couple months ago
i waited in the goddamn lobby for like 2 hours
i was just starting to doze off when they called me back into one of the exam rooms
so i sit on this chair for like 30 more mins, and then fall asleep
i wake up and have no idea what time it is or how long i've been waiting
so 20 minutes later after I finished reading the Hispanic Business Weekly
I start diggin through the drawers in the exam table and his desk drawer
i find some hypos and don't touch them, some dressing gowns, and then i get to the drawer marked "OB/GYN"
i open it up, take a peeky-peek inside, and what do I see? Speculums and rectal dilators.
At this point I'm in his desk rolly-chair
with about 40 rubber gloves in my pockets for later use
so I grab a speculum in each hand
and start making them sing and talk like little ducks
i was rooting around for a sharpie and couldn't find one
so i put them down and did my glove-trick
i stretched a rubber glove over my head and blew it up
then i grabbbed the speculums and started spinning around in his chair
glove inflated on my head the size of two basketballs
speculum in each hand
spinning in his office chair
i hear footsteps and as i'm extending my legs to slow down, the door opens
the doctor is standing there with my chart in his hand
omg
i stopped spinning and just sat there, looking at him through the thin film of the glove
he was like "Corey.....?"
I said "Yep."
held up the speculums.
said, "I got bored."
and he was like "That's quite a trick with those gloves. Where did you learn that?"
I said "Many doctor's offices in many states."
He was like "You want to take some with you?" as I got up
I pulled the wad out of my pocket and said "Already did."
then I walked out and i heard him laughing like a goddamn maniac as soon as the door was closed
then the other day i go in again rofl and he just hands me a brand new unopened box of 100 gloves
i was gonna ask for some speculums just to fuck with him but I was afraid he'd give me some

#2
IronChef Foicite: well, there's a lot of reasons
IronChef Foicite: i mean, roses only last like a couple weeks
IronChef Foicite: and that's if you leave them in water
IronChef Foicite: and they really only exist to be pretty
IronChef Foicite: so that's like saying
IronChef Foicite: "my love for you is transitory and based solely on your appearance"
IronChef Foicite: but a potato!
IronChef Foicite: potatos last for fucking ever, man
IronChef Foicite: in fact, not only will they not rot, they actually grow shit even if you just leave them in the sack
IronChef Foicite: that part alone makes it a good symbol
IronChef Foicite: but there's more!
IronChef Foicite: there are so many ways to enjoy a potato! you can even make a battery with it!
IronChef Foicite: and that's like saying "i have many ways in which I show my love for you"
IronChef Foicite: and potatos may be ugly, but they're still awesome
IronChef Foicite: so that's like saying "it doesn't matter at all what you look like, I'll still love you"

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